It's been about a month since I last updated about my life because I've been really busy during this time.
I didn't have a chance to go out during the May Day holiday because I needed to study seriously for the TOEFL, and my family didn't support me traveling. Overall, the holiday wasn't pleasant, but I also started some self-study plans. Currently, I'm learning front-end development with Meta on Coursera, including the basics of React.js. I hope to be able to maintain and update this blog site on my own in the future.
On April 30th, I went to see the re-release of Hayao Miyazaki's "Howl's Moving Castle" and the movie "SPY×FAMILY CODE: White" of "SPY×FAMILY". I watched the latter in a special IMAX premiere, so I was lucky to get a limited edition poster.
During the month, I conducted various experiments in materials mechanics. The compression and torsion experiments on the materials left a deep impression on me. Although I have always been familiar with the properties of these materials, seeing how much compression/torsion they can withstand in the experiments still amazed me.
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I went to a shop that I have liked for the past two years and had sukiyaki. They no longer had the butter base that I always liked, and the variety of meat was reduced. I probably won't go there again in the future.
Overall, the TOEFL exam went smoothly, and I can probably break up with TOEFL now.
A friend bought me an album by Li Zhi that was sold during his tour in Japan. It's really difficult to buy an album by Bi Ge (Li Zhi) in China now. Actually, buying albums in China is not an easy task either. I had some free time over the weekend, so I went to the Yuzhong District and visited two music stores. One store has moved several times in the past ten years and is still in business, but the album prices there are about twice the normal price. The other music store has closed down, and when I made the effort to visit its "site," all I saw was dusty shelves at the entrance.
With my new TOEFL score report and the application form for exchanging English credits, I went to the Shapingba campus to have the academic affairs teacher in our college sign and stamp it. However, she hadn't replied to my message from the day before, and her desk in the office was empty. Out of frustration, I stayed near the Shapingba campus and sent her another message. Later, when I was venting on social media, the academic affairs teacher dramatically replied to me, telling me that as long as I meet the requirements, I can directly go to her for the stamp, as if it were a very easy and smooth process. Although I was filled with anger, I could only reply obediently, "Okay."
That day, I had McDonald's, 20 yuan for 20 chicken nuggets. It was similar to the combo I ordered in Hong Kong, but the packaging design at McDonald's in China is better.
In the past week, my teammates and I were busy with the school-level mathematical modeling competition, working day and night to complete the paper and submit it before the deadline. Personally, I feel that the paper is perfect. I hope everything goes well. Next, I need to write the application for the innovation competition and overdraw my own energy.
Starbucks has recently launched many new products, and my favorite is the "Red Strawberry Coconut Frappuccino" in the third picture.
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A friend invited me to go on vacation in South Korea a few days ago. Although I have many tasks during the summer break, considering that I haven't had a good vacation this semester, I still want to take some time to relax. I discussed it with my mother on that day, and she gladly agreed, saying that I haven't rested this semester and should take some time to relax during the break.
However, when she told my father about it yesterday afternoon, he directly vetoed it. Although my mother seemed to be on my side, she wouldn't defy my father in reality and conveyed my father's thoughts to me. When we talked on the phone last night, he "kindly" told me that I have many tasks during the summer break and need to focus on "important matters."
He has always been like this, a typical Chinese parent. He claims to be "democratic" but doesn't allow others to question him. He makes decisions on his own, just like the great Chinese Communist Party. When we have a problem, he never says, "Let's think about what to do in this situation," but rather, "Because of the current situation, you should do this," seemingly leaving me with a choice, but he has already made the decision for me. If I argue with him, he will say those classic lines like "It's for your own good," as if my disagreement with him is a grave mistake.
I'm too lazy to argue with him anymore, but that doesn't mean I will always keep silent. When I no longer depend on him and can make my own choices, I won't consider his opinions anymore.
It was raining tonight, but I didn't bring an umbrella. I walked back to the dormitory in the rain from Starbucks. I called him on the way, and we had a hypocritical and harmonious conversation. I reported to him about my recent studying and work, and he symbolically expressed concern about me getting wet in the rain. Compared to my mental state, it's more important that I don't get sick and can continue to focus on studying.
Since I was young, I have been the so-called "other people's child," and my father has never cared about anything related to my studies. At that time, he was transferred to another city and didn't care much. I moved to two cities in the south before finishing elementary school and finally settled in Shandong when I started middle school, living separately from my parents. Middle school was a boarding school, and I would leave the school once a week or every half month and take a long-distance bus back to my empty home. Occasionally, I would be notified by the teacher to inform my parents about relationship issues (China's so-called "early love"), and my father would at most say a few words to me over the phone.
He only started "caring" about me when he returned to Shandong and I experienced severe psychological problems. I resolved my psychological issues on my own, and as I gradually recovered, my exam grades suffered a significant decline. Yes, it wasn't until my grades were no longer shining that my great father started to care about me. Of course, his concern wasn't that considerate; it was more like telling me to study seriously, not to be distracted, and improve my grades, like scratching an itch through a boot, without ever caring about my mental state. I guess even to this day, he probably doesn't know that I went through a very painful period.
After I resolved my psychological issues on my own, I gradually accepted myself and realized that I am just an ordinary person. I no longer had any unrealistic fantasies about myself. But in his eyes, I had given up on striving and making efforts, and as "his best creation" (he still sees me as his "appendage" rather than an independent "person"), I shouldn't be so negative (even though it wasn't the case).
After the college entrance examination, I didn't have any regrets about my grades. I accepted myself as I am, but he didn't allow it. He had the driver take me to Changsha overnight to "coordinate" with a familiar political commissar at the National University of Defense Technology, trying to get me into this school that he thought was very good. But I refused because I knew that if I really entered that school, my future would disappear. I argued with him in front of the gate of the National University of Defense Technology, and in the end, he changed his mind and let me follow the regular path to enter an ordinary university. When I filled out my college application preferences, he kept pointing and suggesting, leaving only the universities he favored. It wasn't until the last few empty slots that I had the opportunity to add my own preferred university, including Chongqing University. Actually, at that time, I knew nothing about Chongqing University, and the only thing I knew was that it was far from my home.
I was ultimately admitted to Chongqing University and came to this city nearly 2,000 kilometers away from Shandong. This was my father's first and only victory over me to this day.
This article is also updated on xLog by Mix Space.
The original link is https://ursprung.io/notes/24